I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
