we have pet lesbian snakes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
