Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
