you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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