Is it because I queefed?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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