ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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