She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
