Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
