i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
