But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
