Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
