Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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