is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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