Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
