if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
