he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
