So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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