Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize