Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
