I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
