I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize