You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't turn off my feet"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
