420 ftw
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
