Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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