Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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