i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
