This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
