I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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