You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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