just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
