Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
