He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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