So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
