I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize