You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
