chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
