I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
