i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
