i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
