That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
