This girl is more easily done than said...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
