I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
