How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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