I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
