It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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