Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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