I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You're like the curious george of whores
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
