I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
