I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
