Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
that may or may not have been my penis.
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