so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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