What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
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My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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