So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
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I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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