her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
