shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
