Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
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now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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