I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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