I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
