if you like me you must not know who I am
I love black thongs
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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