I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
