you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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