I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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